Tag Archives: Sexual Dalliances

Election 2012: The Bell Tolls For Thee, Herman

Herman Cain doesn’t have a lot of time left in the national spotlight.

In the past few weeks, there have been trickles here, and trickles there about the Republican candidate’s alleged philandering and various sexual dalliances. Two pretty big words that mean Cain was at one time a boss who loved the power of control. And good for him, because that’s what we all want to some extent, right? Control? Or at least some semblance of knowing that you have say over your subordinates. But that’s where it should stop.

In an idealistic world, the employer and head of a company should be tactful, a sound mind, and be respectful of all employees, all of the time. We don’t live in that world. We live in this one. All we can really do is try our very hardest not to act like ridiculous animals while wearing business attire and driving automobiles to and from work. Those who actually get to power in this world usually abuse it in some sense of the word. What’s the phrase? “Absolute power corrupts absolutely”? Yeah, I wonder why we hear that so much.

Oh, but it’s because he’s been married such a long time? Yeah, maybe it is. The man who marries before he gets to the best part of his twenties is going to be a very different man when he’s older than the man who gets through the best part of his twenties and then decides to buckle down. That’s not a template for successful marriage, mind you. That’s just something that I recognize as a really helpful thing in not fucking up a meaningful relationship. What’s the phrase? “Sew your wild oats while you can”? Yeah, I wonder why we hear that so much.

The fact of the matter is now that pretty much the entire collective efforts of the media and even those having to do with Cain’s campaign see the writing on the wall. And it’s not in washable marker, either. It’s in fucking felt pen, like a Sharpie. Ironic, because Herman Cain isn’t long for this career path. Or very sharp.

The truth is, he’s gotten to be a reliable punchline in the realm of late night talk show fodder. And morning news fodder. And daytime talk show fodder. And…you get the picture. Usually, when a candidate gets to this point, and hasn’t already held office, he’s can be classified as toast before the bread is sliced. Cain smelled so good to a lot of people when he came fresh out of the oven, this is also true. But after the table was set and the guests were all seated, this is one appetizer that is going to be sent back upon second glance.

Within a week, Herman Cain will fold up shop and exit the race to be the Republican candidate for President of the United States.

And that’s my giving a damn.

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