Category Archives: Politics

Election 2012: Ride This Elevator

Newt’s Devilish Core, Mitt’s Definitely Not Poor, Barack’s Still on the Top Floor

By ANDREW FLYNN, Managing Editor

Three important figures exist at the forefront of American politics right now among the other small, ancillary characters. They are Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, and Barack Obama. Simply enough, these are the only three people in this country that are likely to become or remain President of the United States. And that’s it.

I hate politics in this country. I hate the divisions that are created and underlined sixty times over. I hate the disgusting amount of money that is used, both public and private, in order for a candidate to get elected. I’m just fed up with the misrepresentation that occurs, and am cynical to the fact that reform should have occurred such a long time ago. The truth of it is, any of these three men will just be more of the same.

Mitt Romney is a very successful man in America, and none of his success should be a detriment to anything that he wants to do. That being said, he’s got a lousy personality and has a defaulted negative stigma to his persona. Most people like Mitt just fine, but they don’t like him enough to want to see him represent them as their President.

Newt Gingrich is an abrasive and commanding personality. He’s also smarter than 95% of us the academic sense. With that being said, he’s one of the biggest pricks in the history of modern American politics. He knows what he wants and he knows how to get it. The only thing that prevents him from getting what he wants are those who get in his path, of which collateral damage has a metaphysical certitude of happening. If he were one of Alan Moore’s comic creations, he’d be a more out-of-shape and much less humane version of Dr. Manhattan. Notice how the number of backers in higher places tend to be going for anyone who isn’t Gingrich. Even Santorum has more cheerleaders in this regard.

Barack Obama holds residence currently at 1600 West Pennsylvania Avenue. Divisions be damned, his record must be considered at face value. He’s involved a negative number of troops in foreign conflicts, meaning he’s closed out wars instead of beginning them. He’s also taken out a few very dickish jerks that had been a present thorn in our backside up until his Administration came along. Yeah, this could all have been timing. But the timing happened by the watch that ticks while he holds his current residence. Domestically, he’s been more of a mess than keeping the table nicely set. If the unemployment numbers continue to eke their way downward, the economy’s ever-slowly improvement will only aide the man.

Thursday night, Romney looked like a statesman for the first time. He acted like a candidate who actually gave two shits about getting to celebratory afterparty. Obama’s already hosted one of those afterparties. Experience yields return trips to such events too.

At this point, we’re going to see Romney win Florida, and then a majority of the remaining states that have primaries to be held. After this, it’s going to be a few months of building his war-chest for the inevitable billion-dollar brawl to end all political brawls. There were a few pit stops along the way, but the Romney that entered January surely isn’t the Romney who is renewed of vigor and bite that is exiting January.

And that’s my giving a damn.

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Political Sexism in America

By DOUGLAS G. FRANK, Staff Writer

A woman will never be president in my lifetime in the United States of America.

I said it four years ago to a quiet room of political progressives, and to my delight, I received a few gasps and groans. “I’ll bet anyone in this room $100,” I said loudly, knowing that three-quarters of the room knew I wasn’t good for it anyway, “that America will elect a black man president way before a woman ever gets elected.”

That was good enough to start a delicious debate. But I was right, and I knew it. My point was reinforced later when John McCain, who, up to this point, I had considered to have a healthy dose of common sense, selected Alaska Governess Sarah Palin as his running mate. Even Obama was smart enough to know that a woman would torpedo his ticket. He instead opted to appoint Hilary Clinton to his administration. To this day I still believe that McCain made a crucial error. Had he selected Tim Pawlenty, he would be the commander-in-chief right now.

This is the unfortunate reality we live in today. America remains brutally, harmfully, arrogantly sexist. It’s obvious in media, the way that Hollywood harlots are drooled upon and manipulated to fit into the male idiosyncratic fantasy world, but it is even more prevalent in Corporate USA, the entities that truly call the shots, as we are reminded ever so clearly by the lovely 99%-ers out there (keep up the good fight fellows!).

How many billionaires are women? How many multi-millionaires? Oh, did you find one or two? What’s that ratio like?

Too lazy to look it up? I’ll spell it out for you. The Forbes 400 (http://www.forbes.com/forbes-400/list/), which lists the richest people in America, lists the following women:

#6: Christy Walton (inherited her husband’s estate, John Walton, son of Sam Walton, founder of Walmart).

#8: Alice Walton (daughter of Sam Walton, founder of Walmart).

#20: Jacqueline Mars (granddaughter of Frank Mars, founder of, you guessed it, Mars Candy, available in your local Walmart stores).

#26: Ann Cox Chambers (daughter of James M. Cox, founder of Cox Communications).

#29: Abigail Johnson (granddaughter of “Ned” Johnson, founder of Fidelity investments).

Now that we’re past all the trust-fund babies, we have to go quite a ways down to find the next four rich women all tied at #96, a trophy wife, two spoiled privileged daughters, and our first hard working woman on the list.

#96: Dannine Avara (Wife of the late Dan Duncan, Houston Pipeline mogul and founder of Enterprise Products).

#96: Milane Frantz (daughter of the above-mentioned Dan Duncan).

#96: Randa Williams (another daughter of the above-mentioned Dan Duncan).

#96: Gayle Cook (I have to give this woman some credit. Her and her husband William Cook started medical device company, Cook Incorporated, together in 1963 in the back of their apartment and grew the company together.)

That rounds out the top 100. Do we see a pattern here? In fact, there isn’t one self-made billionaire woman until you get to #139, none other than Oprah Winfrey. Sadly, the only other self-made woman on the list is at #331, Meg Whitman, former chairwoman of Ebay. In all, 37 women (9%) are among in the top 400 richest people inAmerica, and only 2 of them (half of a measly percent) didn’t inherit their fortune from successful men.

I admit that the dichotomy of the super-rich demographic is not a fair microcosm of modern America, but it does illustrate my point about the prominence of female entrepreneurship in the male-dominated corporate establishment.

Further, I introduce the demise of racism. As global commerce has increased business dealings with many ethnic types, skin color hardly seems to be an issue anymore. I give you this illustration. A crowded room of 100 top executives and board members of a Fortune 500 corporation are introduced to their new CEO, a black male. Negative thoughts around the room probably stem from the kind of food the man likes to eat, the types of cigarettes he smokes, and which part of town he grew up in.

Now, given the same scenario, the new CEO is an attractive woman. “Bitch” is probably echoed inside 100 cavernous minds. “I wonder who’s dick she had to suck to get to the top.” “What’s gonna happen when she’s on her period, watch out, she’ll lay off half the floor.” “What a great ass!”

I rest my case. America has bridged the racism gap merely by expanding commerce globally and exposing themselves to other cultures and races on an intellectual level. But in all of these societies, women’s role is diminished behind men. Here in America, with a surge of conservative family values and archaic Christian women roles, coupled with media’s extreme bilateralism (pick up and read a copy of Maxim and Cosmopolitan one day, or GQ and Woman’s Day, etc. and you’ll see what I mean) we are possibly further apart than ever from sexual equality. We have a lot of issues to resolve before we let Grandma in the White House.

And that’s my giving a damn.

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Douglas is a concerned citizen, and practices real estate in the Southwestern region of the United States.

Also from Douglas:

»Why to Not Buy Real Estate Right Now

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»That Thin, Plastic Financial Succubus

»Trucking 101: Introduction to Ghosttown

»The Most Important Things You Can’t Live Without


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