I’ve been told that having confidence is a bad thing. It’s apparently this bad thing because it means that humility is facing off with pride and the latter is winning. I disagree.
In the last few years, I’ve greatly changed as a person. I’ve defined myself and done what it takes to define myself moreso than any other time that I’ve been on this planet, and I really wouldn’t to have it any other way. I know what is inside of me, there doesn’t exist the ambiguity that there once was. I know what I’m comprised of, and I know what I want. And my attitude reflects it. Yet, I’m told that it’s a bad thing. Who are they?
They are the people in life that do not hold this type of knowledge of themselves. It’s very true that a person can live their entire life and still not know who they are. And they can be afraid of even trying to find out. Some people like it that way, to live in the ambiguity that is of comfort to them.
I doubt myself sometimes still, of course. I may question an action or a set of actions that led me down a particular path that I might not have been able to predict and immediately live with comfortably. But upon a short time in thought about where I am on that path, I use confidence to quell the doubt. Confidence is a useful tool in getting over an event or unwanted emotion.
I’m not a man of wealth in the least. At 30 years old, I live paycheck-to-paycheck while focusing very hard on what I’m trying to do. At times, money decisions are tough. A couple months ago, I had a very sick relative way on the other side of town. 40 miles away and some such shit. Did I want to spend that much money on gas? Not really. Would the money have been better used elsewhere? Sure, you bet. But I just didn’t care. I still don’t. I’d much rather go to see that sick relative than have the extra gas money in my pocket. It just means so much more to me to be with those I care about, and that gives me confidence.
That’s what we really want in this life, right? To be comfortable and to be surrounded by people and an environment that compliments us to the very person that each of us actually is. Whether we know it or not. I can only speak for myself, and how I use confidence in my life.
Each individual has to figure out what ultimately placates their own ego and existence in order to justify the decisions they’ve made and the actions they’ve taken. To offer criticism in this vein of another person just means that the one being criticized was right in the first place.
And that’s my giving a damn.
[ On-Stage But Off-Camera ]
[ The Money Shots ]