Election 2012: Both Of These Political Parties Stink

The Republican candidates in this election cycle have proven to be a group of easily-ridiculed, easily-imitated, and easily-replaceable boobs. None of them deserve to win.

Having no party affiliation has its benefits in a year like this. I can safely view all bickering parties (both of them) from afar and bask in the insanity that each side dishes out to each other on a daily basis. After a decade of being immersed in conservative Republican partisan politics, the last three years have been nothing short of the fresh surface air that wasn’t being breathed for what now seems like an entire lifetime. You just don’t know how awesome it feels until you get away from the layers of absolute horseshit that you walk through on a daily basis.

First, it was Mitt. Then, Michelle. A little later, Rick. A couple weeks ago, it was Herman Cain ready to go up against President Obama in the supposed showdown of all motherfucking showdowns. And then his numbers started dipping. Now, it’s Newt Gingrich. Next, it’ll be someone like Jon Huntsman. And then it’ll be back to Mitt again. Are you really going to take this? With this many people vying for the slot to run against an incumbent, only one thing is for certain: whomever it is, they’re going to lose, and they’re going to lose hard.

Anyways, this complete nonsense shouldn’t be the focus at the moment in this country. The purveyors of the microphone and the television cameras of this great nation of ours should be allowing other parties to get in the mix and get their voices heard. And I don’t care at all how many fucking parties want to throw their hat into the two-hat ring. This is the kind of year where there should be as many candidates as there were when that Anderson Cooper-looking motherfucker Gray Davis got recalled back in 2003 and Schwarzenegger plowed his populous campaign into an eight-year administration. What were there, something like 30 candidates? It was marvelous. Even Gallagher ran!

Lots of choices yield the best of everything, and then let the voters decide what they really want. Instead of being given a choice between Republicans and Democrats. This country deserves better than just inane and endless coverage of how Republicans A through H are trying to set themselves apart from each other. It’s just boring.

We don’t like boring in America. We like to be entertained. And when are things the most entertaining? When there’s a shit-ton of potential outcomes.

And that’s my giving a damn.

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