That Thin, Plastic Financial Succubus

Credit cards are for mostly for schmucks.

After going through the various time-consuming rigmaroles that come with owning credit cards accounts and dealing with all the little rules and idiosyncrasies that come with them, it’s just masturbation at this point.

When it comes to money, there’s nothing that you care about more in the ways of your personal finances. So why complicate it? The American answer to that question is: “Because I’m American, and I’m awesome.” Chances are, if you have a credit card in your wallet, you’re not as awesome as you think.

People use credit cards for an amalgam of reasons, and a lot of them use them responsibly. They stay within their limits, spend within their means, and play the game well. Usually they end up making money from the credit card companies, which is really hard to do unless you’re paying strict attention to every little term and condition of the member agreement in question. But they do it, and they do it well. Then there’s everyone else.

That’s the majority of us, myself included. Whether it’s the flashy introductory rate of zero percent, or the promise of triple airline miles if you spend a certain amount of dollars per time period, you don’t need to have a doctorate in mathematics to know you’re going to lose money in the process of card ownership. You will lose, without a damn doubt.

For the very same reasons that you put money away in a certificate of deposit or that reliable mutual fund that doesn’t lose, credit card companies and banks who manage credit card accounts do the same thing in extending you credit so that they may get that thin plastic succubus into your wallet. And then from there, it’s our impulsive human nature that leads them to winning. Man, I can’t fucking wait to get out of debt.

The house always wins, and you’re not the homeowner.

And that’s my giving a damn.

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